RELATIONSHIPS

Welcome to the  Africaine blog relationship section! We are glad you made it here. If you clicked on this section chances are that you have questions about relationships. Well, you have landed in the right place. In this section we will provide you with information and tips about your every day relations. Human relationship is the most important and complicated of all relationships.  This relationship includes the relation you have with yourself, family members, friends, enemies, lovers, co-workers or just a person you see down the street.Mastering the art of human relations will improve your daily life; provide more opportunities and peace of mind. Make sure you check this section often as we will have a lot of interesting topics to discuss. Also, feel free to ask us questions about relationship and we will do our best to answer them! Please send us questions at aminatakamara79@gmail.com

Remember these are just advice and you should consult a professional on serious issues.


Building Healthy Relationships

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

1. Speak a little less, listen a little more

Most people get tremendous pleasure from speaking about themselves. But, here we have to be careful; if we always speak about our achievements or tribulations, people will get fed up with our egoism.

If we are willing and able to listen to others, we will find it much appreciated by our friends. Some people are not aware of how much they dominate the conversation. If you find you are always talking about yourself, consider the advice of the Greek philosopher, Epictectus:

2. Which is more important being right or maintaining harmony?

A lot of problems in relationships occur because we want to maintain our personal pride. Don’t insist on always having the last word. Healthy relationships are not built through winning meaningless arguments. Be willing to back down; most arguments are not of critical importance anyway.

3. Avoid Gossip

If we value someone’s friendship we will not take pleasure in commenting on their frequent failings. They will eventually hear about it. But, whether we get found out or not, we weaken our relationships when we dwell on negative qualities. Avoid gossiping about anybody; subconsciously we don’t trust people who have a reputation for gossip. We instinctively trust and value people who don’t feel the need to criticise others.

4. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not just a cliché, it’s a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy relationships. However, real forgiveness also means that we are willing to forget the experience. If we forgive one day, but then a few weeks later bring up the old misdeed, this is not real forgiveness. When we make mistakes, just consider how much we would appreciate others forgiving and forgetting.

5. Know When to Keep Silent

If you think a friend has a bad or unworkable idea, don’t always argue against it; just keep silent and let them work things out for themselves. It’s a mistake to always feel responsible for their actions. You can offer support to friends, but you can’t live their life for them.

6. Right Motive

If you view friendship from the perspective of “what can I get from this?” you are making a big mistake. This kind of relationship proves very tentative. If you make friendships with the hope of some benefit, you will find that people will have a similar attitude to you. This kind of friendship leads to insecurity and jealousy. Furthermore, these fair weather friends will most likely disappear just when you need them most. Don’t look upon friends with the perspective “what can I get out of this?”. True friendship should be based on mutual support and good will, irrespective of any personal gain.

7. Oneness.

The real secret of healthy relationships is developing a feeling of oneness. This means that you will consider the impact on others of your words and actions. If you have a true feeling of oneness, you will find it difficult to do anything that causes suffering to your friends. When there is

a feeling of oneness, your relationships will be free of jealousy and insecurity.

For example, it is a feeling of oneness which enables you to share in the success of your friends. This is much better than harbouring feelings of jealousy. To develop oneness we have to let go of feelings of superiority and inferiority; good relationships should not be based on a judgemental approach. In essence, successful friendship depends on the golden rule: “do unto others as you would have done to yourself.” This is the basis of healthy relationships.

8. Humour

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This does not mean we have to humiliate ourselves, far from it — it just means we let go of our ego. Humour is often the best antidote for relieving tense situations.

9. Work at Relationships but don’t over analyze

Maintaining healthy relationships doesn’t mean we have to spend several hours in the psychiatrist’s chair. It means we take a little time to consider others, remembering birthdays and anniversaries etc. But, it is a mistake to spend several hours ruminating and dissecting relationships. This makes the whole thing very mental; it’s better to forget any negative experiences. Good friendships should be built on spontaneity and newness, sharing a moment of humour can often do more benefit than several hours of discussion.

10. Concern and Detachment

Healthy relationships should be built on a degree of detachment. Here, people often make a mistake; they think that being detached means, “not caring”. However, this is not the case. Often when we develop a very strong attachment we expect the person to behave in a certain way. When they don’t we feel miserable and try to change them. A good friendship based on detachment means we will always offer good will, but we will not be upset if they wish to go a different way

How to Get the Guy You Like to Like You Back

Whether you are a teenager or an adult looking for the right man, getting that guy’s attention can be a mystery. Let’s face it; men just think differently than women. There is no magic potion that will make them fall in love or in “like” with you. But, if you follow the right steps, you have a much better chance of winning over that guy you think is so special

Instruction

1)Be yourself. One of the worst mistakes all of us tend to make in situations like this is to pretend to be someone we are not. Remember–no one can be you better than you can. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Wear what feels and looks good on you. Talk the way you want to talk. This will give you confidence, which is always attractive.

2)Do not try too hard. People who come on strong seem desperate, and that is a big turn off. A woman who throws herself at a man may get his attention temporarily, but it won’t last. Remember, men have a very primal instinct. They do enjoy the “chase.” Even the ones who seem timid and insecure still would prefer the opportunity to pursue and capture the girl

3)Smile and look him in the eye. Be sure it is a real smile, not a deliberate flirtatious action that can be very transparent. If you really do like him, a natural twinkle in your eye will come through, and he will feel that. Stay away from the tossing of the hair and the sexy walks. Men are onto that.

4)Try to get close to him in some way. Whether it’s a party, or at the office, or some other social situation, it is important to find the time to just have a conversation. When you get to this point, be sure to ask questions about him, and be a good listener. People in general like to talk about themselves. Just be sure to avoid getting too personal in these initial conversations. Your goal is to let him talk, so you can make him comfortable, and find out a little more about him.

5)Learn to casually mimic his body language. Experts in all types of relationships, business and personal, say this is a very big key when it comes to communication. It opens the door. If he is sitting with his hands folded facing you, then you do the same. When he takes a sip of his drink, maybe take a sip of yours. You don’t want to look like a puppet. But if you do this in a relaxed way, he is much more likely to feel comfortable opening up to you. It is simple psychology that works in many different situations. If you watch couples that are really in love with each other, you will see that they naturally do this without even thinking

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